The children on the bus go...

Rwanda children have me confused. More often than not, children are quite content to walk beside you or just stop and stare, yelling 'mazungu' in your direction, yet you take a step towards them and they scatter like spooked antelope. A mother, trying to be friendly will try to deposit her small kid into your lap where they promptly take one look at you, seize with terror, and let out ear splitting shrieks until the mother removes them again. It's great to look at the novelty white person, but don't let it get too close. But somehow, on the bus these rules cancel out. Now, in America people sitting on a bus have their nice personal space and can conveniently ignore everyone else around them. You could probably do that on Rwandan buses though it gets a little more difficult when there are 4 adults and 3 children trying to sit on 4 seats. Riding back to Kigali after my New Year's holiday, I was crammed in the back between two mothers, one with one child, the other trying to juggle two on her lap. Like most Rwandans, as soon as the vehicle started moving, the mother began to nod off leaving her older son standing squashed in the corner looking out the window. I felt awkward and sorry for both mother and the boy who had barely enough room to move. Pretty soon, the bus began lulling the boy as well and he tried in vain to keep himself upright while napping against the window. After several unsuccessful attempts I figured, why not. I motioned for him to sit on my lap to which he promptly scrambled over his mother. No fear or anxiety, just thankful to sit down. Granted, I was still a mazungu to stare at with the strange skin, but somehow the bus equalized us and he wasn't nervous about sitting with me. The novelty of the mazungu lap wore off quickly and he snuggled up to nap. Honestly, where else would you pick up a strange child and have them curl up to sleep against you. Where else would a child be allowed to sit with a stranger. The pure innocence of that simple act is such a powerful reminder that despite the name calling and frustrations with kids here, they have such a huge capacity to love and trust without questions asked.

Be strong and patient

I am starting to lose track of what I have written about now, though I am pretty sure I have mentioned this in previous entries. I was just struck by the concept again today at work and wanted to share. Komera and Ihangane; probably the two most commonly used phrases in Rawndan culture. Be strong and be patient. If someone next to you stumbles while walking you tell them to be strong. A neighbor is describing a difficult money or health problem, you tell them to be patient. Even laboring women are told to be patient, though I doubt that's what they want to hear at that moment. Be strong and be patient. It fits this culture so well. Such a simple sentiment but one that can have so much meaning. Ihangane, be patient. It's said time and time again in so many different ways. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. Often we get weighed down by the trivialities and we forget to look at the bigger picture. We get caught scrutinizing and stressing about things we can't control. Be patient. Things take time. Especially in Rwanda where Africa time seems to be at its best. It will get done, eventually. Life doesn't revolve on the extra minute or two you would save rushing through your days. Be patient.

Komera. It is such an inclusive word. A common greeting around my area is "Ukomeye" meaning are you strong? Not just a simple 'hello' or 'good morning' but a question about you and how you are doing in all possible senses. Are you strong? This also fits with their version of good morning or afternoon which translates more to 'you have survived the morning or afternoon?' Life is tough. More often than not it kicks the crap out of you for no apparent reason, so how encouraging is it to have someone make sure you are strong enough to handle it. Be strong. I like to think that this goes further then a quick response to someone tripping or a passing greeting. Be strong, not just in your body but in every facet of life. Be strong in love, be strong in beliefs, be strong in joy. How much more simply can you put it. Even in hard times, there is someone who will be there to look at you, smile, and tell you "Komera."